The New York Jets (0-4) and frustrated RB Le’Veon Bell continued their winless streak with a 31-6 blowout loss against the Philadelphia Eagles (3-2). Another week, another ugly loss for the #LOLJets.

NY Jets Le'Veon Bell #LOLJets Eagles
NY Jets RB Le’Veon Bell and the offense struggled against the Philadelphia Eagles in Week 5. (Image: Michael Perez/AP)

Quarterback Sam Darnold, still recovering from mononucleosis, was itching to play after missing the last two games. Darnold made the wise decision to not risk a ruptured spleen against the Eagles and flirt with death for the inept Jets.

Enlarged Spleens and Playing Bad

While Darnold sat out another game, backup QB Luke Falk put his livelihood on the line in another stinker. The ravenous Eagles sacked a terrified Falk nine times, including three from Brandon Graham. Falk spent so much time on his back at Lincoln Financial Field, he almost got a ticket from a Philly cop for public indecency.

“I’ve got to go out there and perform better than I did today,” Falk said. “I was getting mental reps, all week and I’ve got to do the best with what I’ve got. Control the controllable.”

The usage of the word “mental” is key in Falk’s comment in the postgame press conference. Apparently, Falk only got reps late on Friday because Darnold practiced with the starters all week. Coach Adam Gase thought Darnold would be ready to play, but team doctors said no due to Darnold’s engorged spleen.

Not that Falk getting al the reps in practice would have worked. The Jets were doomed before they stepped onto the field. Even an extra week to prep after coming off a bye couldn’t help the Jets in Week 5. Philly easily covered the two-touchdown point spread. In the first quarter, Nate Gerry from the Eagles jumped a route for a Pick 6 to put the Eagles up 14-0. The Jets and their feeble offense never had a chance once they were in a tremendous hole to start the game.

“We’re not doing anything right. We’re playing bad,” said Jets head coach Gase.

“We’ve got to get better. Period,” said RB Bell.

The Jets lost again, but the only saving grace is that their franchise quarterback is still alive.

Fantasy Bell Tilt

You knew you were rolling the dice by drafting NY Jets running back Bell. If you’re not a #LOLJets fan who picked Bell early in your fantasy football draft, then you must be one of those adventurous gamblers who likes to hit on 17 in blackjack, or a fearless cavalier who will eat a gas station sandwich.

Bell hasn’t been in a position to succeed in the fantasy department because the offense generates only 9.75 points per game. The tanking Miami Dolphins are the only team in the NFL who scored fewer points (26) than the #LOLJets (39). The offense scored two touchdowns in four games, but luckily, Bell has one of them.

The Jets back-doored a cover in Week 4 against the Patriots, but that’s only because the Jets D scored on a Pick 6 and the special teams recovered a fumble for a TD.

The Jets have been in the hole so much that they’ve been passing more than running in the second half of games. And when Gase calls a running play, Bell is fighting to get back to the line of scrimmage. The Jets blocking has been so bad that Gase considered starting a tackling dummy at guard against the Eagles because at least you can pay the dummy a min-wage salary.

Bell has only 163 rushing yards through four games while averaging only 2.9 yards per carry. At the peak of his powers in Pittsburgh, he averaged 4.9 yards per carry in 2015 and 2016 for the Steelers.

This season, Bell’s biggest run is a mere 12 yards. Yes, that’s not a typo. Bell caught 30 receptions, and his only touchdown with the Jets was a receiving score in Week 1 against the Bills.

On Deck: The Dak and Zeke Show

Next week, the New York Jets will be a home dog once again when they host the Dallas Cowboys (3-2). The line opened Dallas at -7 or -7.5 in some offshore books. Early money poured in on the Cowboys. The line jumped to 9-points before the kickoff of Sunday Night Football.

Darnold should probably sit out another potential rout in Week 6. Unless the NFL permits the use of chainmail underneath his uniform, it’s not worth risking a busted spleen during another #LOLJets ass-kicking.

The Cowboys started the season 3-0, then lost two straight games against the Saints and Packers. Dak Prescott and Zeke Elliot come to town in desperate need of a “slump buster” victory.

The Cowboys are currently tied for first place in the NFC East with the Eagles (3-2). The Giants (2-3) and Daniel Jones are only one game back of the Cowboys.

Heading into Week 6, the winless Jets (0-4) and Dolphins (0-4) are keeping each other company in the AFC East basement. The New England Patriots (5-0) had another easy win against a terrible Washington Redskins (0-5) squad.

Bills QB Josh Allen cleared concussion protocol and returned to action in Week 5. The Bills beat the Titans and improved to 4-1. A lot of fans hoped the Jets would be 3-1 right now and the talk of the town, instead of the Buffalo Bills. Instead, the Bills are in second place and right behind the Patriots, while the #LOLJets are tossed into the same conversation as the Redskins and Dolphins as the worst teams in the league.

At this point, an 0-16 season for the Jets looks more probable than a Super Bowl in the next 30 years.